I have started to write sooo many blogs in the last 6 months and just stopped myself, I don’t know why, but maybe one reason is, I feel people use my blogs to spy and then think they have an idea of how I am feeling, which really irritates me for some reason, I chose... Continue Reading →

26th Febuary 2020 I can not beleive it's been a year since I last held Robyn, 365days, she was so tiny, and it feels like only yesterday, I can't believe we survived it. I feel a little bad to say that I have found today easier than Findley birthday, I cant tell you why but... Continue Reading →

18th January 2020 Omg I am terrified, I am in one of those ride where you leave you belly at the top as it swings you round and round, back and forth. It's a week since I got my first postive test, I feel like a mile stone has been reached. Each day at a... Continue Reading →

30th July 2019 I have realised over the last few weeks just how much I rely on hope to keep me going. I have no idea how I manage to always seem to like in the brighter side even though, the brighter side is never where we end up. I always just grasp for the... Continue Reading →

16th July 2019 I cant even really remember this time last year. It was a day of pure numbness and disbeleive. Feeling my baby swey in my tummy but knowing he was lifeless. I dont even want to relive it. Last night I struggled to sleep. I struggled to push that night a year ago... Continue Reading →

17th July 2019 Never did I imagine that this is how I would celebrate my first child first birthday. However it really is what it is, I cant change any of it. We can only look forward and try not look back to often. Findley of course will not ever be forgotten, and in a... Continue Reading →

Friday 12th July You cant even write this shit, I dont understand why life seems keep kicking us when we are down. On Tuesday we where overjoyed to find out we where pregnant again, I know right, I can hear everyone opinion, I waited before I emailed my consultant as i have to be started... Continue Reading →

15th July 2019 I cant beleive it's a year ago since I last felt you move, a year ago since I heard those words. Am sorry their is no heart beat. Its is so hard to accept that it's been a year. What a year it has been. I was lying last night thinking a... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 10th July I know I havent blogged in ages, i guess I havent felt the need. I have been so preoccupied with being thrown back in full time to work, and also the fact the the honesty in blog ofended some people, disclaimer this blog is very much about me, no one else, and... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 11th June If one more person asks me if am ok, I swear I will scream. I hate being asked it, what are you meant to reply, yeah am all good, lost both my babies is less than a year but am good. People expect you to be like yeah am fine, how are... Continue Reading →