Keep on hoping

30th July 2019 I have realised over the last few weeks just how much I rely on hope to keep me going. I have no idea how I manage to always seem to like in the brighter side even though, the brighter side is never where we end up. I always just grasp for the... Continue Reading →

Numb

16th July 2019 I cant even really remember this time last year. It was a day of pure numbness and disbeleive. Feeling my baby swey in my tummy but knowing he was lifeless. I dont even want to relive it. Last night I struggled to sleep. I struggled to push that night a year ago... Continue Reading →

Happy 1st birthday

17th July 2019 Never did I imagine that this is how I would celebrate my first child first birthday. However it really is what it is, I cant change any of it. We can only look forward and try not look back to often. Findley of course will not ever be forgotten, and in a... Continue Reading →

Seriously! Biochemical Pregnancy

Friday 12th July You cant even write this shit, I dont understand why life seems keep kicking us when we are down. On Tuesday we where overjoyed to find out we where pregnant again, I know right, I can hear everyone opinion, I waited before I emailed my consultant as i have to be started... Continue Reading →

A year ago

15th July 2019 I cant beleive it's a year ago since I last felt you move, a year ago since I heard those words. Am sorry their is no heart beat. Its is so hard to accept that it's been a year. What a year it has been. I was lying last night thinking a... Continue Reading →

The count down

Wednesday 10th July I know I havent blogged in ages, i guess I havent felt the need. I have been so preoccupied with being thrown back in full time to work, and also the fact the the honesty in blog ofended some people, disclaimer this blog is very much about me, no one else, and... Continue Reading →

Are you ok?

Tuesday 11th June If one more person asks me if am ok, I swear I will scream. I hate being asked it, what are you meant to reply, yeah am all good, lost both my babies is less than a year but am good. People expect you to be like yeah am fine, how are... Continue Reading →

#reallifeproblems

Friday 7th June 3 months since Robyn was born and nearly 11 months since Findley was born, time does fly! This week has been a tough one. First full week at work in a year, a year since things start to all go wrong with Findley, and a visit back to Rubislaw for my repeat... Continue Reading →

True Friendship

Sunday 2nd June I saw a post of Facebook today from someone thanking all her friends for being there through the tough and good times, and I thought to myself I wish I could write that. However I don't feel I honestly could. I used to be the type of person who wanted everyone to... Continue Reading →

Back to earth with a bump

Tuesday 28th May where has May gone, for me it's been a month of trying to look after me and live. I am just back from Kenya safari, truly a trip of a life time. It was really good for the soul, and I found myself often with Findley and Robyn there. I have so... Continue Reading →

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