Happy 2nd Birthday

17th July 2020 Where has two years gone, I can not believe it’s been two years since I first saw Findley little chubby cheeks. I am not going to lie this week has been hard. Sunday saw me in with a freak out over movements, lucky Rach was on and looked after me, I have... Continue Reading →

Stupid Brian .. living with PTSD

So last night for some reason I started having flash backs to rubislaw. I don’t know what triggered it, and I can’t decided if it was a flash back, or a fear of what might happen. I didn’t really want to investigate it to much. Some things are best left. I had a nice day... Continue Reading →


7th June 2020 I feel like I am losing my mind, it’s like 4am and I am lying here awake waiting for LJ to kick and wriggle!! Like he’s a circus elephant. I never did this with Findley, I always loved feeling him kicking when I woke up in the morning, now I feel like... Continue Reading →

Blood thinners

So lots of people are asking me what my plan is duding my pregnancy that’s different from before . I have been on aspirin since I was 12 week pregnant with Robyn, and next stopped the dose doubled when I hit 7 weeks with this pregnancy to 150mg daily. I am also started injecting blood... Continue Reading →

Sorry for the radio silence!

I have started to write sooo many blogs in the last 6 months and just stopped myself, I don’t know why, but maybe one reason is, I feel people use my blogs to spy and then think they have an idea of how I am feeling, which really irritates me for some reason, I chose... Continue Reading →

Happy 1st Bithday Robyn

26th Febuary 2020 I can not beleive it's been a year since I last held Robyn, 365days, she was so tiny, and it feels like only yesterday, I can't believe we survived it. I feel a little bad to say that I have found today easier than Findley birthday, I cant tell you why but... Continue Reading →


18th January 2020 Omg I am terrified, I am in one of those ride where you leave you belly at the top as it swings you round and round, back and forth. It's a week since I got my first postive test, I feel like a mile stone has been reached. Each day at a... Continue Reading →

Keep on hoping

30th July 2019 I have realised over the last few weeks just how much I rely on hope to keep me going. I have no idea how I manage to always seem to like in the brighter side even though, the brighter side is never where we end up. I always just grasp for the... Continue Reading →


16th July 2019 I cant even really remember this time last year. It was a day of pure numbness and disbeleive. Feeling my baby swey in my tummy but knowing he was lifeless. I dont even want to relive it. Last night I struggled to sleep. I struggled to push that night a year ago... Continue Reading →

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