Trigger warning!! Ectopic pregnancy

So after last weeks missed miscarriage information I had started to settle in letting it all happen naturally as it was very early days and there was no baby just a sac.

So i had started bleeding on the Saturday and thought, thank god the end is in site, if am honest after everything we have been through i didn’t really consider this a loss, no baby to be seen made it much easier. I had emailed my consultant to ask if i still need my scan on Monday, as i though things had started to progress, however by the time Monday came, the bleeding hadn’t progressed and i felt back in limbo, so my amazing consultant said just to come in and we would make a plan.

Just before we got into the car i starter feeling a bit funny, like i needed the toilet but i went and nothing, then as i looked for my handbag i started to have intense pain in my lower left abdomen, as we drove into hospital it intensified to the point i thought i might pass out, however after about an hour it started to ease, i said to James it felt like labour but not in the right place, i arrived at rubislaw and go to toilet to find i was bleeding again, so i think right that must be it now, what a waste if a journey in, and a waste if my consultant precious time. So my consultant comes in and i tell her what’s going on and i ask if it’s normal, of course no normality in baby loss, everyones body dose things differently. Since we are there we scan anyway.

So yeah no sac in uterus anymore, i must have passed a a fair bit already, however i can tell my consultant has something processing and she checks my ovaries as she had the week before, she asks if its sore, and it really was, she points out in the screen free fluid probably blood, and then she finds an ?ectopic pregnancy, i instantly started to uncontrollably shake this was my worst night mare..

It all became serious quickly with bloods been taken and me not aloud to leave, i understood and i was sore and i was scared of that pain returning! So we sat and waiting for my hcg levels praying they would be minimal… 3 hours later they are back and they are not minimal and i now have to be admitted to gyeane.

My instant though it always why the f**k is it always us?? Never straight forward and simple, my first night away from Lewis was so hard i missed him so much but knew my super star husband had things under control.

I am still in hospital, they are not keen to operate and neither am i, so we are waiting to do 48hr HCG, then as long as my pain is ok and i am stable i can go home. Then back to rubislaw to repeat bloods again on Friday, and management plan from there, as long as i promise to call and ambulance if i have any pain.

I am hoping that the pain on Monday was nature aborting the ectopic, and my levels are significantly lower by Friday, then i can just get in with life!!

I feel so very very lucky to have the team i have already my and my family! I cant wait o hug my little boy!! Covid has meant i cant wee anyone, lucky my amazingly work mummy val managed to pop up and drop of goodies to me on her break, it’s very lonely in hospital with covid restrictions