Tuesday 27th February Last night little baby Robyn arrived into this world, the tiniest little toot I have ever seen, I was so scared when they had arrived and the midwife asked me, would you like to see your baby? I don't know if it's a mother intuition but as soon as I had calmed... Continue Reading →

I feel like I want to start with Day 2... but I already did that 7 months ago. So I guess it's day 2 take 2. I am currently sitting in hospital waiting.. just waiting, at least I guess I am no longer waiting for my baby to die, but I am waiting for my... Continue Reading →

Monday 25th February I woke up this morning feeling quiet optimistic about my 16 weeks scan today. However something in my head wondered if Rach, was going to be taking Maggie with her. I text to find out she was, I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I didn't want Maggies to be... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 19th February I might not be the centre of your universe but I sure as hell am the centre of mine. Today's Moto! Well I lasted a total of 2.1 weeks back at work before throwing the towel in. Am so dramatic!! I feel like a failure, however I made the decision that I... Continue Reading →

Monday 18th February I haven't written in ages, I have written lots in my head, but if am honest I have been so tired, with being back to work it's been emotional and exhausting. I have also been aware that I don't want to be writing all the time about how shit work is, everyone... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 5th February Well I had my first 3 hours in work yesterday, I was feeling really confident, however quit quickly learned that my colleague that I have history with is a massive trigger. As soon as I heard her voice, I was taken back to April last year 20 weeks pregnant stressed out my... Continue Reading →

Saturday 2nd February 2019 I am just back from a few days away with James and the puppies to celebrate my birthday. It was nice to be away, we haven't been away since just after Findley died. I came across a few triggers, we stayed down near Dunkeld for James's mums 60th in April, I... Continue Reading →

Monday 7th January People will have noticed I haven't been posting as much recently and am sorry this also isn't published on the day it was written. I can't believe am even writing this but we found out at the end of November that we are expecting baby number 2, Aka Pip. The weeks from... Continue Reading →

Friday 25th January 2019 This journey is like one of those snakes that hide in the bushes then jump out and bit you when your not looking. I haven't forgotten about Findley but I speak much more freely of him now, much easier to keep myself composed, and not cry at the though of him... Continue Reading →

17th January 2018 My dearest little man, Forget the little card that should sit next to you saying, today I am 6 months old, today I can't even think of what should have been, all I can think of is what was. It's been 6 months since I last held you, 6 months since I... Continue Reading →