Tuesday 11th June If one more person asks me if am ok, I swear I will scream. I hate being asked it, what are you meant to reply, yeah am all good, lost both my babies is less than a year but am good. People expect you to be like yeah am fine, how are... Continue Reading →

Friday 7th June 3 months since Robyn was born and nearly 11 months since Findley was born, time does fly! This week has been a tough one. First full week at work in a year, a year since things start to all go wrong with Findley, and a visit back to Rubislaw for my repeat... Continue Reading →

Sunday 2nd June I saw a post of Facebook today from someone thanking all her friends for being there through the tough and good times, and I thought to myself I wish I could write that. However I don't feel I honestly could. I used to be the type of person who wanted everyone to... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 28th May where has May gone, for me it's been a month of trying to look after me and live. I am just back from Kenya safari, truly a trip of a life time. It was really good for the soul, and I found myself often with Findley and Robyn there. I have so... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 8th May Well we are currently in Heathrow away to take off on our third and final flight of the last 24 hours. I haven't really blogged much when I have been away, I have written lots and I have deleted many I just couldn't really be bothered. I just enjoyed some down time.... Continue Reading →

Friday 26th April As I write this I am currently sitting on our balcony listening to the sea waves lapping below. The air is so warm and I am sipping a mojito eating banana crisps. I am shattered, we have been on the go since 8am yesterday, three flights later we are happily in Phuket.... Continue Reading →

20th April 2019 I remember someone saying to me, all the blogs I read around baby loss seem to start of strong and then they stop writing, and I guess that's me now. I defiantly don't feel the need to write every day like I did all those weeks ago now. So many weeks now..... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 16th April 2019 After spending an hour breaking my heart to James on Sunday, I now feel slightly lighter. I think now my fertile week has passed that I am just looking forward to the next cycle. It's probably good to give my body and mind a break, if we had tried this month... Continue Reading →

Sunday 14th April I don't want to get out of bed today, kinda felt a bit like this yesterday but I managed, this last few day has been my first "fertile" week since we lost Robyn. It's bitter sweet, nice to know my body is back on tack, but hard to deal with the prospect... Continue Reading →

Tuesday April 9 I went into town shopping today, I haven't really seen my friends since Robyn died and I haven't been shopping for clothes since the week before Findley died. However I really need clothes for my holiday so I arranged to me Laurie for a primark trip. I woke up feeling so sick... Continue Reading →