Tuesday 25th September Today I took max out for a cycle, and I didn't fall off!! There the first positive of the day. So the not falling isn't the biggest positive Of the day, today I joined one of the Insch cycle ladies for a cycle (am going to call her Sophie but this is... Continue Reading →

Sunday 23rd September Wow I and believe we made it, 10 weeks today since Findley died, where did 10 weeks go to? I survive still, I stand tall still, I am doing my baby boy proud. The other day Rach messaged me to say she had been working in Rubishlaw, seeing her write that instantly... Continue Reading →

Friday 21st September I met a friend for breakfast this morning, she has a little boy who has cerebral palsy, she shared her story of her journey , she also had reduced movements at 38 week, as she told me her story I realised it was a little bit like sliding doors, except they kept... Continue Reading →

Thursday 20th September I can't believe we are rapidly approaching October. Nearly 10 weeks have passed since this torturous journey began. Those dark days seems so long ago now. That moment that it felt like someone reached into my chest and ripped my heart out is starting to fade into a mist. The day I... Continue Reading →

Wednesday 19th September Today as I was poo picking the horses field I though about how amazing it would be to be pregnant again, and growing another little munchkin inside me. It made me so excited thinking about it, I know that this isn't something that will be happening any time soon, but I will... Continue Reading →

Tuesday 18th September I picked up Max today, he is beautiful, shiny and new. Blue obviously for Findley as he was the one who suggest a new bike! Welcome to the family Max. I actually can't wait to get on him and not fall off hopefully! I love being hopeful, I do fear for the... Continue Reading →

Monday 17th September Wow I almost wrote July there, two months today Findley joined us in this world, two month today since I first held my silent perfect son. I have had a good day today, it nice to be able to say that. I cried a bit more today that others but that doesn't... Continue Reading →

Sunday 17th September Today is the first day I feel I probably don't need to write my blog. Can I have a winning at life please! I never said I would write every day but to start with I felt I had to write things down daily. Today I just don't feel I need to... Continue Reading →

Saturday 15th September I had a lovely evening yesterday with another one of my soul sisters kerri (I like this soul sister saying, there are only a few people in my life who I would say are my true soul sisters, she is fits the criteria, one of those people who you meet and instantly... Continue Reading →

Friday 14th September The angel card I keep pulling today, every question I ask the angels it return "Have Confidence" . I have never been a particularly confident person. I am good at pretending to be confident but never been truly out their confident. I have never been confident that all I have I never... Continue Reading →