Monday 11th March
I have had a few text asking how I am doing, some I don’t respond to, others I honestly respond am not okay, but it’s okay not to be okay. I don’t think people expect me to reply saying am not okay, but I don’t want to lie.
Of course am not okay, I lost my son then my daughter, it’s hard to process. However I still wake up every morning, look out the window and take a deep breath.
I hate that this is my life now, just hurt and loss, and I hate that I have to learn to live with it over and over again. However I still wouldn’t change it.
I have a few selfies with my friends children and babies and I look at them and honestly wonder if I will ever get a selfie with my own living breathing baby. I keep telling myself I will. Well what else can I say. It’s just another chapter in our book it’s not the end yet, the ending has to be spectacular.
I cry every day for my baby. I’m sick of people telling me it will get easier and I’ll forget. We will never forget our little lost ones and there is no shame in that. You will get up, dress, eat. But you will always be thinking about them. I’m here if you need anyone to talk to xxx
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