The Question a 4 yr old Ask

I still cant believe we have a 4 yr old, feels like yesterday I was having my section, hes amazing, hes wild and independent, very strong willed .. but also very loving, and caring.

Hes starting to ask questions like .. but why mum? mummy how did Freya get out of your tummy? Mummy can you shrink me, so that you can eat me and I can go back into your tummy? Its hard not to giggle, but tonight when he asked me how Freya got out, I said well shes came out mummy’s tummy, mummy had an operation to get her out, and I had to have the same to get you out … but what is that mummy, so i explained that they had to make a cut low down in mummy tummy to take him and Freya out. He went on to tell me how its not nice to cut people .. yes Lewis that correct we dont cut people 🤣, but there are special doctors trained to take babies out, so he asked me who cut me. So I tell him a very special doctor, whats her name ♥️, well it was a lovely opportunity to tell him about Lena, he tells me Lena is naughty.. i love 4 year olds, I wonder if he would offer her a time out if she had been here….but he listened as I told him about a very special person who supported mummy and dad through some very sad and very special times to get Lewis and Freya here with mummy and daddy, and said to him that this is where his name came from. I know he probably doesn’t understand much of it just now, but I still think its good to speak about our journey and the very special people who were involved in that journey.

The chat didnt stop there either, when getting ready for bed he start to speak about the mural on the wall, and I ask if he remembers Roxy mummy horses, am not sure he does she died in Christmas 2022 so he was only just 3, and then Charlie cat, who died in February 2023 and he cant remember her either, but she was a but feral, but we go on to speak about how they are in heaven with Findley and Robyn. He once said to me he wanted to go to Heaven, when i asked why , he said he wanted to see Findley .. my heart ♥️ this kid.. i have no words.

I honestly still feel like i am the luckiest person in the world, and i posted this on my instagram story along with this photo..

Someone messaged me and said, its amazing after all i have been through and i still consider myself to be the luckiest person, but I guess the end results speak for themselves, and they really really do. Even though life is hard, its definitely a challenge especially with James working away so much, Freya is so chilled out and laid back thank goodness, because lewis is a million miles an hour..hes like a test subject i have no idea how to be a mum to a 4 year old, but looking after a 5 month old I am a pro 😂. There are tears, but there is love, and laughter and I feel like I have everything i ever wanted.

I am currently enjoying mat leave, living the dream I really hope it isn’t just a dream because sometimes it all feels to good to be true..

Just a quick mention too, that October is baby loss awareness month, and Freya turns 6 months.. so we are taking part and raising money for Tommys, who helped give advice to my consultant during my losses. We will be walking, cycling (not freya shes too wee) and running 5km a day, if anyone would like to support and sponsor me here is the link ⬇️

https://www.justgiving.com/page/jan-law-1725144193666?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=email_social&utm_campaign=LFCFRUK_Day7_Plus1Don&fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAR3LBZii5wmAJGX33nFKM8eRJBocxn5Cd1RHQMV9N3CgD6ypDOiLFr0VwLI_aem_vW-meHF3LGnpkqI3MtB-Dw

Remember guys never ever give up on your dreams, have no regrets ♥️